#GOTV Texts I’d Like to Send
If this isn’t robocalling why do I feel like an automatron?
For seasonal volunteers working to get out the vote, and their unwitting victims.
“Hi [name], this is [your name] reminding you that it is election day. If you need directions or times for your local polling place, go to [website] or call [phone number]. You can also call that number if you need a ride to the polls. This is an important election and I hope we can count on you to vote. Thank you.”
“[name], this is [your name] on election day. Please vote. We hope we can count on your support for [candidate 1] and [his sidekick], because we really don’t like the other guys.”
“Hi [name], this is a text to encourage you to vote on this election day. This is a script from my nifty caller webpage, which tells me a lot about you. For example, I know you have already voted, so I’m just messin’ with ya.”
“Hi [name], this is [your name] calling from the Demopublicans. I know you are in West Texas but I am actually calling from Boston. Will I have to pay international roaming charges?”
“It’s election day and our candidate needs your support. You won’t hear from him again until the next election, but right now we will call and text without pity until you get off your butt and go to the polls. Have a nice day!”
“Hey, I’ve been calling these numbers for an hour and nobody ever answers. Stop f — ing around and vote, because I have better things to do.”
“Hi [name]. Please vote. I don’t have unlimited texting, so I hope you are worth the 10 cents this is costing me.”
“Please turn out to vote. You can find your polling station on [website] or by calling [phone number]. Remember to bring a photo ID, a COVID mask, hand sanitizer, a 6-foot measuring tape, goggles, helmet, milk or other means to dilute pepper spray, a flak jacket, your insurance card, and a reversible button for each political party. Good luck!”
“Hi [name] at [address] in [city, state]. Yes, I knows where you live, and I knows if you has voted. I tink it bettah fo’ youse if youse votes.”
“Exhale… What is it to vote? What meaning does it bring to this existence? It is being. It is life. It is breath. Namaste.”
“This is an auto-survey for [phone number]. Did you vote? Reply with YES, NO, or I AM A DEADBEAT.”
“Hey [name], this is [your name]. Listen, I don’t want to start anything, but I was just out voting and I saw your boyfriend at the polls with somebody else. They looked like they were ready to pull the lever, if you know what I mean. If I were you I’d get down there right away!”
“Did you ever see War of the Worlds? That’s what this country is going to look like if [candidate we don’t like] wins. You don’t want that on your conscience.”
“Hi [name], I’m here to remind you to ‘flush the turd November 3rd!’”
“It is election day. Please vote. Please. Make. It. Stop. Please, I can’t take it any more!!!”
